...LINK-MATE!!

“ We’re only friends ‘cause of ‘THAT GUY’.. So, talk to ‘that guy’ if ya have a problem with it! ”


I’ve crossed paths with many types of people (as we all have) & I've enjoyed hearing the stories from many different walks of life..but I’m here to tell you, the most unique personality type I’ve met is what I like to call a link-mate…one of my favorite personality/character types & so very complex.

From Ashville to the Tri-Cities down to Sevierville over to Pigeon Forge & Gatlinburg then rounding the corner to Knoxville, one thing stands true (a global phenomena, we’re all aware of, yes)..that people are cliquey creatures by nature. Like a pack of wolves, gaggle of geese, herd of cattle, colony of ants and a bed of clams, we too, ‘get in where we fit in’. Similar to a defined group of animals, we as humans are individually defined based on the people we ‘run with’. Now, I’m not talking about, ‘ you lay with dogs, you get flees’ because to me, thaat..is a toootally different subject.

My faaavorite reason that separates us from my analogy; unlike the collective groups of animals or ‘animal cliques’, weee have these distinctive people that link one clique to another. I like to call these friendly friendship mergers, ‘link-mates’. They befriend & promote all they meet & then intermingle one clique member with the member of a different clique..thus, creating a magnificent medley of fellowshipping acquaintances that may result in the perfect recipe for great achievements & accomplishments!

We all know that guy or gal that seems to know everybody! You can go with that guy or gal to the mall, Walmart, a restaurant, ACE Hardware or even a gas station & they always run into someone they know. They’ll introduce you to whomever it is they know this time & give you that person’s full background history, accomplishments & then top off the introduction by complementing them in some way or another. Then they turn to that person & do the same for you. This positive first interaction/impression between you & this new person leaves you so comfortable with them that you’re genuinely happy to see that particular person the next you run into him/her. THIS Mr. I Know Everybody is your link-mate! He/She rarely to never forgets a name, face or how they know a person!

There's a lot to be said for these link-mates. They make the job look easy because it MUST be in their DNA to seamlessly on consistently join different walks of life & somehow always get these very different people to, well, like each other! And yes, most all of us, when given the opportunity, enjoy & find it easy to introduce people that don’t know one another..I know I do, but sadly, I’m not a link-mate & not everyone is cut out to be one of these inimitable persons. A link-mate is highly active, incredibly outgoing, positive, & is always match-making. When I say ‘match-making’, it’s on more of a business level that I refer to, but relationships are included, as well. These link-mates are rare, unique & oddly enough, they pop up out of nowhere when we need someone the most & are right in sync with our needs at that moment in time. Their ‘perfect’ timing is fascinating. I personally only know 3 people that I classify as link-mates..
Count how many you think could classify as link-mates in your life & email me the # with the subject “My Link-Mate #”. If you are one, count yourself!
On Sunday, March 8, 2010 I’ll post the average # of link-mates a person knows… (bella.rosalie.hilton@gmail.com)

A link-mate is known to run into you out of the blue..the two of you get to talking & he or she says, “ So, you need task A to be competed by tomorrow? Well, I know a someone that’s perfect for the job..no need to worry, let me just give him/her a call.”
ALL people are able to find some commonality with link-mates. A link-mate’s closest friend or even just one of their acquaintances is always ready to help their when their needed. From an awesome new friend to a much needed business transaction, we might just meet that one link in our lives that ties everything else together. Go say HI to YOUR link-mate today!

<3>

...HAPPINESS!

" Hey, lady! You dropped your happiness & kindness ALL over the place. The potency of it stained my clothes. What caused this..this happiness? "



Happiness & kindness are two of the most potent & contagious emotional expressions a human has to offer. We all know kindness is potent..We hear & continue to say the phrase, "Kill 'em with kindness", which was coined by none other than Shakespeare.. well, his exact words were "Kill with kindness" but anyway, point here is..That quote is OLDER THAN DIRT & we still use it. So, whyyy do we still use it as advise to others? Because it works! If we're happy & kind to unfriendly people, what will they have to say bad about you or me?

" Ugg, there goes that Bella. See her over there being all happy and stuff. Yeah, & just the other day she was kind to me..I can't stand her! "

That scenario, prooobably very safe to say, it's NOT going to happen.
A woman I know could quite possibly be the happiest person on the face of the planet. I wish everyone knew this lady & hopefully you all know someone like her. She is high on LIFE! That's it. Nothing but life, water & vitamins flow through this woman's veins.
I try to be more like her every day.

She's the type of person who makes everyone feel special & spreads joy like I've never seen & at the same time sits the farthest away from disingenuous.
She not only believes but knows every one's special in their own way. I fear I don't give her or her happiness enough justice. I'm sure a few of you may know who I'm speaking of. This is a highly positive person who sees good in ALL!

She will look into your eyes & tell you she's so happy for you & proud of you for you're accomplishments..& if you have something in the works, she still says the same thing. Such a promoter of people..
She says, "Conquering nothingness & starting a task you're interested in, is reason enough for me to be proud of you."
I meeean, this lady is real to the bone, people. She amazes me every time I have the chance to meet with her. I ran into her & this all took place on Tuesday in a Pigeon Forge shoppe..

As I finished telling her many of the things I was juggling & attempting to accomplish in my life, she replied with..
"REEALLY! I'm such a fan of hard work. Are these things you've wanted to do? I'm so proud of you already!"

As I explained to her how much these [things] really meant to me, her excitement grew. I'm not going to lie, I LOVED every second of it & she made me feel..hmm, dare I say it..special. I went from being totally stressed out..to knowing everything would work it's self out & be OK.

Because of her excitement & enthusiasm, people started to stare, wondering what the commotion & happiness was all about. My eyes traveled from one corner of the small Pigeon Forge shoppe to the other..It was written on their faces...confusion, major confusion..then their curiosity turned into a contagious fever, and the symptoms...happiness.
All of the sudden ..everyone in the shoppe joined our conversation. Not physically walking up to us, forming a circle & joining hands or anything like that. A few people did walk over but mainly, everyone started conversing from where they were standing..it spread like wildfire..
A little girl began to giggle because her mother & I were talking & laughing from one corner of the shoppe & I at the other corner. The precious little girl, about 4 years of age, made an older couple behind her start to laugh..What started as a 2 person convo turned into an 11 person convo..YES, I counted. I was shocked. I looked around & saw these people, once strangers now talking among themselves 'getting to know each other' shall was say. It was so strange-but awesome!
I looked at my friend & knew this camaraderie was all her doing..bringing people together who may have never met otherwise. All sharing a moment of happiness with one another..some tourists & some locals. Because of this woman I know, that day, the positivity of our community grew - not only b/w local & local but b/w local & tourist, as well. Our tourists will have a great time visiting our attractions, no doubt..but for them to go back 'home' & say how much they enjoyed the locals is a great accomplishment. (I mean, I've seen a few dealings between local & tourist in my day..& well, hasn't always been pretty. I was so proud of our happy community)

As my friend & I walked out & said our good byes to each other,
I looked her in the eyes & said, "I'm so proud of you & how you use your spare time. You don't waste a minute of it do you?"
I noticed immediately that not many people tell her they're proud of her....strange..
But with a huge smile from ear to ear she knew exactly what I meant...

We can, today, strive to be like this lady..Happy!
Even though she's out & about on her personal time, doing a little shopping, she's still 'working'..working & striving to spread happiness among all she meets..
And I'm not saying, "get out there & touch every stranger you meet"..& I know this post may make me sound a little hippy-ish..but what I am saying is, from the
back-woods-never-seen-a-colored-tv guy to the loud obnoxious northerner..accept those who have been dubbed unacceptable...because if we don't, it's just society getting in the way of our kindness & happiness.

*B.Rosalie

...LIFE!

" Wait up! You dropped this. It loooks liiike...your LIFE. You need some help with it? Cause it looks like a mess! "

So, as I walk among my community, I see, greet & meet some of the kindest give-you-the-shirt-off-my-back type of people. They strive for kindness & perfection. I think to myself, '..these people just 'get it'-life.' The majority of these people are, well, seasoned & although there are some younger folks that fall into this category of 'helping your neighbor'...there should be more! My peers are go-getters who could (if applied) make the greatest positive change not only limited to this community but on a larger scale, as well. Sadly, (& I don't exclude myself) there seems to be something holding my peers back or getting in the way of the greatness they could achieve. Among us, I see a collection of broken promises, an addiction to beauty, a certain self-righteousness, the pursuit of success at any cost and the belief that we are OWED in this life for that we haven't ever worked for. This sight turns my stomach..then I remember...WE ARE ALL HUMAN. This is a battle between the soulful & soulless. Everyone has a soul & I'm not implying you, me or that guy is without a soul, so let me clarify. Soulless acts are committed by everyone. We're human after all & we should never forget that no, NOT ONE MAN IS RIGHTEOUS.
HOWEVER, just because no man is perfect nor better than the next..we seem to hold on to that particular idea of imperfection & use it to justify our 'bad deeds'..the result, doing whatever we want even if it is at the expense of someone else's feelings. Sort of like a crutch to get away with 'getting ahead'.

"Oh, I didn't realize you two were so serious. I'm sorry, I would have never undermined your relationship & made a huge mess of it just so I could get my hands on what I wanted at the moment."

"Oh, no! Did I do that? I didn't know that if I lied, it would only hurt your feelings. I thought if I told you the truth about it, it would SURELY hurt your feelings."

"Oh, my bad! I didn't know you told me [that] in confidence. I would have never told the boss-man had I known. And you would have never lost your job & I would've never accepted the position you lost."

I mean, reeeally? Come on. Most, if not ALL of us have been guilty of justifying our actions just like the above examples (possibly not as strait forward). I have, you have and that guy behind you has.
I was browsing facebookers in my local community (Tri-Cities, Sevierville, Pigeon Forge, Gatlinburg, Knoxville) & I happened upon a quote that went something a long the lines of this, "The road to hell is paved with selfishness justified as 'good intentions'. An old quote indeed that many scholars & non scholars alike have quoted. The facebooker put her own twist on it which was nice. God only knows if that girl believes her own post but I've gotta say..I DO & there's a lot of truth in that quote. There are many interpretations, as we ALL know, when it comes to the interpretation of sensitive material, such as the Holy Bible, Torah, & YES, even quotes of the past. I'll sum it up, as I understood it, with another quote that says the same thing:

"All it takes for a evil to prevail is a good person to do nothing."

Whatever way you wanna package it, wrap it, slap a pretty bow on it should you feel the urge.. but it means...if we do something selfish & justify it as a 'good intention'..("Oh, I wanted to help that sick person but I just had so much to do. I got busy.")..we just hurt others around us & this teaches our children some pretty bad habits. After all, our children watch us with a learning eye, want to grow up to be just like us & they hang on our every word.

From screening someones call to undermining someone to 'get ahead'..the little things to the big, ALL add to the negativity of any community. What if a friend is calling to tell you his dad died & he just wanted to talk for a minute...if you are in a meeting, it's completely understandable to not answer. What you can do, get this right...you can shoot the person a text saying you're busy & you'll get back with them later. Communication is KEY! And I don't care who you work for, texting is always a possibility. When busy, we may not be able to reply within 3 seconds flat but we CAN all reply and not ditch the ones in need. By communicating with that 'friend' you have sent the message that you care, in turn, creating happiness.
Happiness? Yeah, this is a positive emotion & it barely took any effort on your part to create this...this..happiness. Most of you are like, "Yeah, yeah, nothing new, Bella.. you're talking about a simple theory called, 'paying-it-forward'."
Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about. One SIMPLE act of consideration is contagious & goes a long way.

Can't we be a little more considerate of others? Is this a possibility? Or am I just asking for WAAAY to much, here? I know this's an age-old request..but hopefully someone reading this will become more aware of the way they treat others & possibly, they'll be mindful of someone in their life. This someone they have showed kindness to, in turn, may just 'pay-it-forward'. We could all stand to practice this a little more often. We can strive for perfection & decrease the negativity around us by being considerate of others & helping those who need assistance. Do take note, 'striving' and 'achieving' are not the same...but 'striving for greatness & perfection' impacts others more than anyone really knows...

I don't know...just some food for thought. Tell me what you all think, feel, do, etc....